Arming Victims of Domestic Abuse, is it the answer?

I recently read watched a video Link here where a michigan law maker is proposing arming victims of domestic abuse, educating them and allowing them to carry weapons in schools, churches, everywhere they go.  Is this the answer? 

As someone who suffered years of abuse myself I am puzzled as to why this law maker thinks this would be the answer.  I think I understand what he is trying to accomplish.  I think he believes people who have been abused are victims and that we need to be giving a weapon because we are not strong enough on our own to defend ourselves.   I see his point.  However, he is wrong.  

I was raised in an abusive home.  Then I spent 16 years in an abusive marriage.  I was naive, I didn't think it was abuse.  NO matter what happened, I made excuses for my abusers.  When someone finally cared enough to step into my life and said Sarah that behavior is wrong, you will change the situation or we will take your children away from you.    Guess what?  My eyes were finally opened.  I started to see my life for what it was. I realized not everyone lived the way my children and I were living.

Back to the topic at hand, giving guns to people who have been abused in the past.  People who have stalkers. I have been told many times over the years that I should get a Conceal and Carry license.  I should have a gun in my home.  My past abuser has broken into my home multiple times, slashed my tires, broken my windshield, hacked my personal accounts, and much much more.  I gave the gun issue a lot of thought.  I think I am the only member of my quite large family that does not have a conceal and carry license. 

Here are my reasons for refusing to get a gun: If I have a gun and my past abuser and I have a confrontation of any kind that results in me shooting him.  Either he will die or he will be wounded.   A) He is the father of my children.  Do I need to say more?     B) A gun is just a gun.  It can be taken away, manipulated and used against you.  An abuser is manipulative, controlling and horrible.  That is why they are called abusers.   when I use my inner strength, the lessons I have learned, my dignity, my strength and beauty - those cannot be twisted, taken away, manipulated or used against me.  Ever.  I am stronger and better than he is. Every single day. In every single situation.   I do not need a gun.  

I believe there are situations when educating and arming Abuse Survivors is appropriate.  However, it should not be every survivor and it should not be done without a lot of care and counseling.  My children and I all have PTSD.  and our abuser was not physically abusive.  I am the only one he tried to kill.

Abuse Survivors are STRONG enough to survive, fight back and be well equipped emotionally if we will support them and continue to be there for them.  Don't let them down. If you are an Abuse Survivor, if you have ever been close to an Abuse Survivor you recognize the signs.  Step in, just be a friend, you know what to do and how to do it.  Give them the strength they don't think they have.   That is the BEST way you can ever ARM someone who is being abused. 

Written perfectly

NO regrets! Life only makes you stronger. This articles says it so well

Balance

Divorced and sole custodial parent of my children gives me certain privileges. I make medical and all life decisions on my own. I don’t have to worry about their dad’s opinion.  I do worry about it, however legally I don’t have to.  I can go against everything he wants, if I choose to.  

However, in real life, the one we live every day, his opinion matters a great deal.  It matters to my children. They want their dad’s love, they long for his approval, his acceptance and to hear him say he is proud of them.  This is so evident in my 7 year old.  He struggles every single day.  He tells everyone my favorite color is blue because my dad says boys like blue, the truth is his favorite color is pink.  When he goes to his friends’ house and plays dolls with her don’t tell my dad, he says dolls are for girls.   He no longer wants me to paint his finger and toe nails (something he loves) because dad says boys don’t wear nail polish.    He doesn’t dance at the band concerts because dad is there and dad said NO! Boys don’t spin and dance.     And yesterday it was cold and rainy outside; he had a lazy day in my bedroom watching T.V. , he wore my jewelry all day.  He loves my jewelry.  The bracelets, necklaces, he has his favorites that he would were every day if society allowed.  He looks up at me all decked out in silver and jewels as he says please don’t tell dad. Mom, can boys wear jewelry?   My heart breaks for him. Of course, they can my love.  Boys can wear jewelry and play house and have tea and makeup. Whatever they want to do. Just like girls can play tools, trucks and transformers. He smiles and adds another layer of embellishment.   

Why are people so afraid to let our kids grow up as themselves?  Aren’t we simply to guide them? I don’t think my son is gay because he likes nail polish, pink, skinny jeans, and thinks Katy Perry is soooo hot.   I don’t think my daughter is gay because she never wears a skirt, wears less feminine clothes than I do and lord knows she can’t walk in a pair of stilettos.   They are my kids and I love them.  I love them because they are unique.  

Their dad on the other hand prefers more traditional roles for boys and girls. So when my kids come home upset about something Dad has said or implied; my role is to carefully balance what he has said.  Dad is certainly within his rights to hold his own opinion and I make sure my children know that.  I want them to be strong enough to maintain their choices and opinions even when it isn’t the popular one.  So I reinforce their individuality, show them how much I love them for who they are; all their silly little things that make them a unique individual and a wonderful amazing human.  

Balance. It’s all about balance.