When the hard times come (and they will)....

It's 5:30am, I roll over shut off the alarm and pick up my phone.  I have emails and messages.  My eyes begin to focus and my phone reveals evidence of stalking. 

I will be honest with you, my immediate reaction was frustration and fear.  I have been dealing with this stalker for years. I should be used to this but I'm not.   Every time something new happens or he finds a new way to add stress to my life, I fight a battle with myself.

This post isn't about how to handle a stalker.  This post is about how to maintain your joy even in difficult times

So back to laying in bed and reading my emails.  My heart started racing and my head pounding.  I closed my eyes and decided to begin my day again.   I put my phone on my chest, practiced breathing exercises and after a few minutes when I had calmed I picked my phone back up. 

I read the emails, made a mental list of things I needed to do in response to the emails and then I put my phone down.  I laid it face down, a deliberate physical move to reinforce the emotional reaction I was controlling.  Breathe in and out, evaluate the situation.  Make a list of things I can control and things I cannot control.    I throw away the list of things I cannot control and begin working my way through the list of things I can control. 

Knowing that difference, can control vs cannot control in empowering. It allows me to take the bull by the horns.  Making a mental to do list of the things I can control and need to adjust for my peace of mind.

Once my mental list was made, I was able to set it aside and start my day.  My stress level was low.  The stalking was not a huge issue since I had a plan.  I went to work, completed the things on my to do list and have had a happy, peaceful day. 

His stalking did not ruin my day, didn't set off a panic attack or anything like that.  It was simply, it happened, I assessed the situation, took the proper steps and moved on. 

In the past I would have freaked out. My day, most likely my week would have been completely ruined. By controlling my physical and emotional reaction I gave myself  permission to have a good day and remain happy.